Wednesday, September 07, 2011

"Love can build a bridge" -- It can also destroy even the oldest and strongest one.

How can you be so sure with love?

I knew myself when I hit my adolescence, I was a hopeless romantic. Thanks to movies and pocketbook novels. I believed that I'm going to marry my first love and first boyfriend. I thought I'm going to have a romantic movie-like love story, like my suitor would jump off his feet the ti
me I'd give my sweetest "Yes" to him. Like, he would win me over a bouquet of flowers or chocolates or do me the old traditional thing harana, like he would write me songs, do all those risky things for me, knocks me off my feet... but unfortunately, no one has ever done any of those to me. But surprisingly, It's not a big deal at all. I guess, if you really love somebody, you would just forget all your standards and hopes when it comes to love.

I have been thanking God for the past 3 years now for giving me such a wonderful person and He made him as my boyfriend. And a best friend at the same time. He wasn't really my type at all, but just like I've said, you put exceptional on your standards if you're really into someone. I ask God to keep him forever and I have been imagining myself with him in the years forward. I can't imagine myself anymore with anyone else.

With some events that is happening around me, failing relationships. A fear grew in me. Another fear. A fear of falling in love with somebody aside from him. A fear of forgetting myself, all these feelings I have for him. A fear of hurting him. A fear of one day, I'd choose someone over him. All these thoughts running through my mind but honestly, I can't think of anyone or that 'someone' that's actually better than my boo. Someone that would make me do those unexpected things. Someone that would make me forget all about him. Can I ever say confidently that "I would never ever fall out of love?" Did the divorced man/woman after so many years of marriage has ever told those words to themselves? Will I become one of them? Am I really weak with temptations around? I sincerely hope not. I hope not.

"The only way to fight negativity is with positivity. Stay focused on the dreams..."

-- Jared Leto

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